Now something to make
you smile, I hope. You know Karma is a wonderful thing and it’s reflected in
this letter a man wrote to his wife.
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, that I’d cooked your dinner and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate your dinner and never even said thank you, then you went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, that I’d cooked your dinner and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate your dinner and never even said thank you, then you went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.
I know I’m just a house
husband since I lost my job and now you’re the bread winner but you don’t tell
me you love me anymore; you don’t want to go out together and I feel that
you’re ashamed of me. So either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore;
whatever the reason, I’ve had enough and I’ve left you.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to Dublin together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother reared me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my dinner, you must have gotten me confused with my sister, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the €49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed €50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out together. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million Euros, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets on The Orient Express but when I got home you were gone. Ah well, everything happens for a reason. I hope you now have the life you want. My Solicitor said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a cent from me. So take care.
Signed, you’re Ex-Wife, Rich Happy and Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Georgina was born George. I hope that’s not a problem. Good luck.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to Dublin together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother reared me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my dinner, you must have gotten me confused with my sister, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the €49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed €50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out together. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million Euros, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets on The Orient Express but when I got home you were gone. Ah well, everything happens for a reason. I hope you now have the life you want. My Solicitor said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a cent from me. So take care.
Signed, you’re Ex-Wife, Rich Happy and Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Georgina was born George. I hope that’s not a problem. Good luck.
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