The Bad Tempered Snowman.

The Bad Tempered Snowman.

Once upon a time long, long ago.  It was on an icy cold Christmas morning and the sun was just waking up and peeping over the horizon. High on top of a hill there stood a snowman, he’d been there for his whole life which was about three weeks and he looked a little the worse for wear. There was an old stick under his arm, he used to have a lovely hat and scarf but someone had stolen it a long time ago, really it had only been last week but in the life of a snowman that is a long time ago.

One of the stones that had been his eyes had fallen off so now he had only one eye. The carrot that was placed in the middle of his face as a nose had gone rotten and now it was all black and slimy and was running down his face. As for the little stick that was his mouth, well that had slipped down slightly at one end and now it looked like he had a crooked mouth. God love him, he was not a pretty sight.

The poor snowman was cold, ooooh was he cold.The wind on top of the hill never stopped blowing and he felt like a solid block of ice. He gazed forward with his one eye and watched as the sun rose a little higher in the sky.

“That looks lovely and warm” he thought to himself. The large golden ball that was the sun did look very warm indeed and the snowman said,

“I think I’ll just go a little nearer and see if it’s as warm as it looks”

He carefully picked up one foot and shook off the snow, then he did the same with the other foot and clumsily began to walk down the hill. Clump,clump,clumpity, clump, clump.

As he made his way down the hill the snowman saw an old woman gathering sticks for her fire. She was wearing a big red woollen shawl.

“Ooooh that looks warm” he thought. He went over to the old woman and said, “Give me that shawl”.

“I will not” replied the old woman, “I made this for myself many years ago to keep me warm on a cold day like today”

“Cold?, Cold?, You don’t know the meaning of the word” said the snowman, “Do YOU have a pillar of solid ice running down the middle of YOUR body?”

“Errr, no I haven’t” said the old woman,

“Well I DO” roared the snowman in a very bad tempered way, “Now give me that shawl, or I’ll hit you on the head with my stick”.

Well the old woman didn’t want to be hit on the head with a dirty old stick so she handed the shawl to the snowman. Without a word of thanks the snowman snatched the shawl, wrapped it around his shoulders and set off down the hill once more. Clump, clump, clumpity, clump clump. Followed at a safe distance may I add by the old woman.

A little further down the hill the snowman saw a young boy who was making snowballs and throwing them at a tree. The snowman noticed that the young boy was wearing a pair of bright red woollen gloves.

“Ooooh they look nice and warm” thought the snowman. He went over to the young boy and said “Give me those gloves”

“I will not” said the boy, “My mother knitted these for me. They keep my hands warm on a cold day like today”

“Cold?, Cold?, What do you know about cold” roared the snowman, “Are you covered with snow from head to foot”

“Errrr, no, I’m not” said the boy,

“Well I AM” the snowman shouted back in a very bad tempered way, “And if you don’t give me those gloves right now I’ll hit you on the head with my stick”.

Well the young boy didn’t want to be hit on the head with a dirty old stick so he handed the gloves to the snowman. Without a word of thanks the snowman snatched the gloves and put them on his hands He wrapped the old woman’s shawl more tightly around his shoulders and set off once again down the hill with a Clump, clump, clumpity, clump clump. Followed at a safe distance may I add by the old woman and the young boy.

A little further down the hill the snowman saw a farmer sitting on a bench, tying up a bootlace.  The farmer was wearing a bright red woolly hat.

“Ooh! That looks warm”, thought the snowman. He went over to the farmer and said  “Give me that woolly hat!”

 “I will not!” answered the farmer. “My wife knitted it for me to keep my head warm on a cold day like today”.

 “Cold?,Cold? What do YOU know about cold?” roared the snowman “Do icicles drip from the end of YOUR nose?”

 “Errr No they don’t” said the farmer,

“They don’t”. “Well they DO from mine!” shouted the snowman, “And if you don’t give me your hat, I will hit you on the head with my stick!”

Well the farmer didn’t want to be hit on the head with a dirty old stick and so he also handed over his warm, woolly hat to the bad tempered snowman. Without a word of thanks the snowman pulled the hat down over where his ears would have been (if he’d had any!), pulled the young boys gloves further onto his hands, wrapped the old woman’s  shawl even tighter around his shoulders and continued to the bottom of the hill, with a clump, clump, clumpity clump clump. Followed at a safe distance may I add by the old woman, the young boy and the old farmer.

When the snowman got to the bottom of the hill he saw a village. At the edge of the village was the schoolhouse and standing in the doorway of the schoolhouse was the schoolteacher. He was wearing a pair of bright red velvet slippers.

“Ooooooh they look warm” thought the snowman. He walked over to the schoolteacher, clump clump clump and said extremely rudely “Give me those slippers”

“Certainly” replied the schoolteacher “However, if I take them off out here I’ll get my feet wet. Why don’t you come inside where it’s nice and warm”

The snowman followed the schoolteacher into the schoolhouse where there was a big fire burning in the grate. Pulling a chair over to the side of the fire the schoolteacher said

“Why don’t you sit here and warm your feet while I go and take my slippers off”

The snowman sat down and the schoolteacher pushed him even closer to the fire and left the room.

By this time, the old woman, the young boy and the old farmer had arrived outside the schoolhouse and were peeping in through the window. A few minutes later the schoolteacher returned and said to the snowman,

“I’ll give you my slippers shortly but I was just about to make some hot soup, I’ll bring you some,” He pushed the chair even closer to the fire and then noticed the old woman, the young boy and the farmer looking in though the window.

 “Come in” he said to them, you look colder than the snowman, would you like some soup?”

 The three came in. They looked over towards the fireplace. All they could see was a chair and on the floor beneath the chair, a very wet shawl, a wet pair of gloves and a wet woolly hat, all floating in a great pool of water! The schoolteacher picked up the wet clothing, wrung out the water and placed the items onto a clothes line above the fireplace.

“There”, he said, “We’ll hang them here to dry”.

 He picked up a mop and mopped up the water that had been the snowman. There was also a small, black stone and a piece of stick, which he threw on to the fire. The larger stick he used to poke the fire.

“That’s the snowman sorted”, said the schoolmaster. “Serves him right for being so bad tempered.  Now who’s for soup?